Tag Archives: unconditional

Expanding the Tree

Well. I was woke up early today. Thought it was my alarm and ignored it like I’m programmed to do. Lol. My second grandson, Noah, was born 4 1/2 weeks early. His lungs are under developed but his weight is good: 5 lb 2 oz. Please pray for him to recover quickly.

Little bug, Noah

Little bug, Noah

All this has brought a flood of emotions and tears. It amazes me how we can love something so much before even meeting them. Little Noah looks like his daddy. The majority of our stuff is still packed and stacked in boxes in the garage. Wish I could get to the album that has Noah’s Daddy’s baby pictures in it. I did have a couple on my phone. Mind you, these are pics of pics so the quality sucks, but, the emotions are still there.

My bundles  This is all three of my bundles, back in 1993 when my youngest was born. So tiny. 5 lb 9 oz. My kids kept shrinking: 8lb, 1 oz; 6lb 13oz; 5lb 9oz. Lol. I look at this photo and I’m transported back to the hospital on that day. Couldn’t see her the first couple days because I was sick…that was so hard. Amazing how I can transport myself back to that hospital on all 3 occassions. I can recite the hours leading up to their birth, the hours following, but I can’t remember the exact pain. I know it hurt, but I can’t fathom it like I can the emotion I felt holding each one. God does that on purpose. We recall the best, the best. The scars fade, even if we know they are there.

Any who. I keep getting distracted. The point of this blog is just to share the unconditional love of parenthood. The innocence of infancy. The wonderous emotions that come along with being a parent…a grandparent. I look back and I can see all the things I did wrong, but likewise, I can see what I did right. Without my faith, I would’ve gotten no where. I praise GOD for watching over me…and I’m proud of myself for having faith and pulling through the rough times.

I wish my Mom could see this…me being a grandma, my children becoming parents. Her birthday was 4/4, she passed 4/20. Noah wasn’t due until 5/22. I know my Mom would be honored that Noah was born in her birth month. Out of 30+ siblings, neices and nephews, only my brother shares the month with her. And she would just love his name. I know she’s around me, but I’ll always miss her. I guess, what I want to close with is this: today is a day you’ll never get back. Only in memories. So make the most of it. If you regret today, be better for it. And if it filled with a great memory, cherish it. No day is guaranteed. Time has this way of continuing…


God, please watch over little Noah and his parents. Bless him and guide the doctor’s so they can ensure his healthy recovery. Tell my Mom ‘hi’ for me. And tell her I’m sorry for all I put her through when I was young and stupid. And thank you, Lord. Thank you. For everything. ~Amen





We Are Family

Been spending a lot of time with family this weekend. Give you a little background, I am the baby of 8. There’s 16 years between me and the oldest child. My dad is #6 of 11. I am one of 58 grandchildren. I have 21 nieces and nephews. Yeah. Large family. My folks were married 49 years and 10 months when my mother passed away in 2003. My dad turned 80 this year. You’d think we’d see each other more often but we don’t. Half of my siblings live out of state: from California to New York. Weekends like this are special…cherished. I am reminded this weekend of how blessed I am.
I got to walk through the house I grew up in for over 30 years today with my second oldest sister Vicki. The new owners are so awesome. I saw my old room covered with hunting gear and boys stuff. But I was okay with that. Time has a way of helping me deal with certain losses and changes. They’ve really done some upgrades to the house. I could still see home, but I could see how another family has made it there’s and it made me happy. They are loving it, just like we did. The home is happy…just as it should be.

Anyway, today I got to yard sale alone with my second oldest sister. She’s like my mom. She said some things to me today and last night that made me feel so great. Awesome. I almost dont feel like the black sheep anymore…its wierd. The whole day has reminded me of my blessings. Some are not as fortunate to have such a large family based on and full of such love. I want to cry happy tears…happy tears are good. They are great cuz they remind us our cup runneth over. Yesterday, at the wedding i had to go to the bathroom and cry. I pulled myself together and sat back down. Part of me wanted to run, to leave, to get as far away from the memory of my wedding as possible. It was all a lie. The day that was suppose to mean so much to me was a joke. But then i started thinking: this is my family. My niece. Im here to not just witness their union but to pray to God to strengthen it, bind their marriage. Pray over them and ask God to bless their marriage. We all fall but im getting back up. Family. Love.
I will log these past couple days in my brain and store them for later when I need the reminder of how much love I’m surrounded with. I hope your cup runs over too. And I hope you never give up, give in to sin, or lose hope. This is why we have bad days, so we can fully appreciate the great ones. Thank you Jesus.
(I’m typing on my iPhone while I’m with my family but wanted to share my thoughts. Pardon any typos or running thoughts.)