So, usually I have some type of epiphany that leads to a post, but not today. Today I just want to write. A lot has been going on lately and at times I just feel plain overwhelmed with it all, but, then there’s that still small voice that reminds me to stay calm, stay on track, be focused and keep trudging forward. Eventually there comes a moment where I can pause and look back…I made it!
It’s hard to watch our kids grow up; they know everything…ironically, just like we did at their age. Gone forever are the days of being a youthful sponge and “I can do it” transforms into “I’m gonna do what I want.” Sometimes it’s like watching a wreck as it unfolds. There’s nothing we can do but just wait it out and pray they are wearing their seatbelt.
In this phase of life we find a new appreciation for the endurance our parents had with us. But, we had to learn in our own way, on our own time. Our parents kept faith in us, or at least tried, and they surrounded us with prayer – in kind, we keep the faith, no matter how hard it gets. We remain at their side in some fashion, no matter how distant…even if they don’t realize we are still there.
This is the cycle of life. Up. Down. Pause. Reflect. Repeat….just maybe not always in that order. (lol!) Life is like a rose garden: full of beauty, demanding of work and dotted with thorns. We’ve all heard the phrase ‘life’s downs are temporary’, but I’m here to tell you, the ups are temporary, too. That’s why we are supposed to enjoy them to the fullest. We can’t have all sunny days – how would the grass grow? How would the trees provide shade? What would we have to drink? The rain is necessary. The sun cannot always shine, yet, it can’t always rain either. Life is a series of balancing acts. A series of ups and downs, decisions and reflections, joys and sorrows. Just as the rain rejuvenates the Earth, so do our troubled times. They help us grow as humans. They challenge our perceptions and keep our brains in motion. And we will continue to grow no matter our age, no matter our status in life. Maybe that’s why in times like these, I miss my Mom…
Yeah. I actually find that funny. My Mom was a very compassionate person, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes when I would call her she’d simply tout, “Well, what do you want me to do about it?” Loving? No…and yes. That’s what I needed to hear sometimes. Often we put ourselves in positions that no one other than ourselves can dig us out of. And I’m a firm beliver that when we do the work, we appreicate it a hell of a lot more. I may not have gotten showered with hugs and kisses or ‘I love you’s’. I may not have always received the best advice, but it made a huge difference knowing she was simply, ‘there’ for me. A sounding board if you will, yet…sometimes she got me out of a bind when she shouldn’t have. She listened too long and helped me too much (yes. That IS possible.) I accept my fault in that..it only hurt us both: prolonging the lesson for me, and the pain she must have felt as she helplessly watched the wreck unfold. Yet, I’m better for it now. I finally did ‘get’ it. And hopefully, someday we each ‘get it’ on our own accord just like I did.
This reflection reminds me that I just need to do the same: be there even when what I have to say or do is tough. Listen but don’t enable. Encourage but don’t demotivate. Love but don’t smoother. My Mom did the best she could with what she knew and that’s all I’m trying to do. Ican humbly admit that I am not perfect – nor do I expect to ever be – but I am the best ‘me’ I know how to be. Our goal in life should not be the pursuit of perfection, rather, to do the very best we are each capable of. I can’t fix it for them; I can’t always pick them up. All I can offer is my love, my advice, my shoulder or my ear…whichever is more appropriate at the time. My Mom taught me it’s not always best to throw out a life raft or spread out our wings for shelter. Life has a cycle that we each must experience on our own. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. It doesn’t mean I’m not here. And it definitely doesn’t mean I love you any different…we just each need a little time, standing in the rain.