Alone Together

Didn’t expect to write today, but you know how it goes. I’m hit by something that won’t let go. I’m not sure where this is going but I am led to write about it, so, without further ado…

At work, I have to walk through the library in order to get to the bathroom. I’m so use to the smorgasbord of books stacked to the rafters, yet being an avid reading, I tend to scan the spines for titles as I whisk by. Today, on the new release shelf, one title jumped out at me “Alone Together”. Oddly, I wasn’t motivated at all to know what the book was about, rather, I was intrigued at the many ways that title could be digested.

I like it: “Alone Together”. How often do we go through hardships and bumps in life and feel so utterly alone? A lot. More than we care to remember and often more than we prefer to share those insecurities with others. It is in our silence that we suffer best. Yet there is nothing that you are going through alone, even if you chose to not share it with anyone. Someone out there understands. I could not have overcome a lot of tragedy in my life had I not reached out to someone. Even now as I wade through the scars of life, I am alone, but I have my friends, and more importantly, my significant other. The process of learning about ourselves never ends. And the decisions we face separately are ours alone, but we are in them together. This is the process in which we learn about each other and support one another as we grow as individuals.

‘Alone Together’ to me means: we are a team. We are in this together. Not to make decisions for the other but to talk it through and be there in the process. Being together as a team means you know me better than most: my flaws, my imperfections, my strengths. But if you want someone to know you like that, you have to share with them the good, the bad and the ugly. There’s a difference between knowing what someone is willing to share and truly knowing someone. Tell me the truth, even when it hurts and I will do the same. It reverts back to my philosophy on relationships, and I mean any type of relationship – communication is a key. Without it, any relationship will suffer. And communication isn’t one sided. It is not designed as a platform in which to complain or place blame. With healthy communication both parties may not always agree, but they do always listen. Without judgment. Supportive. Reciprocated. That’s why we should take care in choosing our relationships wisely because communication strengthens and supports a bond.

Don’t let yourself get stuck on the alone part. You don’t have to carry the burden by yourself. Confide in a friend, confide in a counselor, confide in a parent. Sometimes it’s incredibly hard for us to see any other angle of a situation because we have been so focused on the problem at hand, yet by opening up to others we can shed new light into a situation that we otherwise would not have imagined. A fresh set of eyes is always helpful. Yes, it is up as to us what paths we take but we need to keep in mind, those choices impact others at some point whether immediately realized or not. And while all the opinions in the world are nil compared our own, it is important to share our feelings with someone. Hiding how you feel only creates more problems. It harbors a mystery that can be easily mistranslated essentially strengthening the sense of ‘alone’. Maybe something you have been worried about, isn’t really a worry at all. Don’t keep it locked inside. Talk it through. In the process you will find that by doing so, you strengthen the together factor and alone isn’t quite as scary as it used to be.

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One response to “Alone Together

  1. Love your words my friend – I remember my “desert” my alone up in the mountains one cold and snowy winter about 2 years ago – the pain was sometimes unbearable but I can tell you one thing that in that aloneness I always had my sister, my girlfriends that I could talk to – that was key in my healing….

    We must taste the salt of our tears to appreciate the sweetness of life,

    To the sweet life,
    Nancy

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