Well. I slept like crap. Stayed in bed as long as my body would endure, then I fixed me a cup of coffee and settled in front of the fire pit for an afternoon fire. (Who says bonfires are just for night time, right?) I’m out there amiss the colorful blanket of leaves sipping my joe, letting the heat of the sun warm my body and the flames entertain my mind. I’m having an urge to write; thus, here I am.
Richard Bach, famous author of ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’, once wrote, “If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it never was.” I don’t think he meant to say that love never existed, rather that the love was never meant to be ours forever. There are so many flavors of love. How many of us have ever truly let love go? And I mean when it utterly hurts to your core to let it go. And why do we tend to get mad if someone takes their love away, then blame and point fingers and cry pain-filled tears? I know it hurts, but would you really want to be with someone only because it is expected of them? Tears can be a product of love, but not a factor. Trust me, I know firsthand that love can be so painful at times causing deep, sincere tears, but tears cannot, and should not, make someone love you. No one owes you love; love satisfies no debt if it is not genuine. Love must come freely, on its own. Coerced love only delays the inevitable. Sadly, this world has become so self-centered, it’s pathetic. We’ve gotten lost in the definition of love and in turn have made love something we expect and hold onto out of desperation or give out of guilt. The sad reality is, in desperation, we rarely have any true form of love, and ironically, we choke out any chance for true love to ever develop in the process.
I think Bach meant to reveal the true nature of love: a freeing force, rather than an imprisoning one. If you love someone, you will honor and respect the potential and the highest good for that person…even if that means not being a part of that good…even if that means stepping away to allow time to reveal what kind of love is being felt. If in honoring another’s potential, they return your love following their natural path, their love for you is true. This is the kind of love that endures and thrives, and believe it or not, grows. If it is not returned, it never was. And why would you want that anyway?
There is a gray area when letting go. Often no one sees the turmoil that goes on inside. A smile disguises the pain on the outside, but inside, it is something so personal and so deep…the ache to explore that love coupled with the knowledge that you just can’t allow yourself to show them. Yet, love does not need to be reciprocated. You can love someone from a distance without them loving you back. You can honor and love someone without being an integral part of their life. Man, that is hard, but think of the alternative: you cannot force someone to love you, and why would you want to? You can do this best when you love yourself first, because then you are already whole. Love is meant to compliment, not complete. It is the well from which a whole different set of new and wonderful memories can be drawn together. There is nothing missing inside of you that anyone else can fill. Sure, none of us are perfect. We all have flaws, we all have needs…wants, but doesn’t that make finding a real love that much more important?? None of us are perfect, but each of us is perfect for somebody. Sometimes loving someone from a distance is the best way to express love, allowing time to intercede.
Selfless love only takes one person. Maybe, just maybe, in letting go you actually freed that person to realize their love for someone else…however sad or painful that may be, it is still an expression of love. In real unselfish love, their happiness comes first. That is the hardest form of love to understand, but we must. Even if we do not understand, we must at least accept. Everything happens for a reason even if we never come to fully understand it. And that’s where faith comes in; believing in what we cannot see. For true love to flourish, it must be shared. Letting go is sometimes the first step in discovering what kind of love, if any, exists.
The bible says, “Do not awaken love until is so desires.” ~ Song of Solomon 8:4.I wonder if this had anything to do with Bach’s analogy. If these awakenings happen during a season when they can’t be righteously fulfilled, they often lead down a path of hurt and regret. Again, all the more reason to let it go and allow time to intercede. I honestly regret nothing because I know how I feel. I respect his honesty, and his situation. I can only hope to meet someone with his qualities again. I do, however, apologize for complicating things and plead with God to forgive me for stepping into something I probably shouldn’t have. Love must be in a position to give as well as receive. Love must be allowed to flow free.
If anything, I am convinced that there is someone extremely special out there for me and I am willing to wait for him whether our paths have already crossed or not. Certain memories will remain on hold until we can enjoy them together…like it is supposed to be. Love, to me, is sacred. Always will be. And for true love, I am willing to surrender to time because only time can truly reveal. Time is the ultimate master and we are all just slaves to it. Time can feel like an enemy and a friend. Time can allow us to heal, or it can allow love to grow. Time never intends to harm. Not knowing the outcome is the hardest part and often why we end up hurt because we want to rush time. Don’t. We may think we have the answers, but until both hearts are free, feelings will get muddled, hearts will get entangled and we will inevitably end up pointing fingers and placing blame. Let time reveal if it is real. If we follow this painful advice now, we will assuredly get our answer. And in the event love returns, and stays, we can rest knowing we will never have to let go of it again. We will only need to nurture it, express it, share it and hold it as the most valuable possession on earth. Just like it’s supposed to be.
NOTE: Please do not use or distribute this photo, the words are mine but the image is not.