So. It’s been a rough week. Heart broke, sad, mad, angry, hurt. Last night everyone seemed to be commenting on Facebook and it really got me going. Started posting confidence quotes and feeling them. I wondered how today was going to be. Asked God to give me something to write about. Writing always makes me feel better…
I get up late – which felt great. The night before I was going through things I want to do: mow, weedeat, till my garden. Well, I did one of those. Mower is broke and my kitten is buried in my garden. Wasn’t quite ready to deal with that. I got out to string my gas weedeater and ended up cleaning out the garage. Damn it looks good, but it sure took some work…and left a few scars.
Moving boxes from my laundry room to outside – I bashed my thigh on the corner of the dresser. OOUCH! Yes. It hurt. And left a pretty hefty purplish red bruise. I still feel it.
Moving things and sweeping, and sweeping and sweeping my garage – I got 9 blisters on my hands. (Not exaggerating. I counted them.)
Weeding my front yard with my electric weedeater (Yes. Electric. Couldn’t get the dang thingy off the gas one to add string) – I tripped several times, got severe shakes and excessively dehydrated from the numerous times I had to restring the dang thing.
Taking a well deserved shower – I managed to rub my right contact way up under my eyelid. Took awhile to get it down and actually painful but I got it. I just look hung over now.
So what’s my point? I have more bruises, blisters and scars from today, but my job was accomplished. Not just accomplished but I did a good job and it looks awesome (I’d sleep out there if it wasn’t for the crickets). Through all the mishaps, I didn’t stop. I didn’t give up. I didn’t throw in the towel. I didn’t cry and complain about how bad things were going. I didn’t throw anything or go into a cursing frenzy. I just kept going, band-aid after band-aid. That’s how we should treat everything. Even relationships. Anything we do, we should just give it our best. Be the best person we know we can be. Maybe I wasn’t perfect – who is – but I was the best me I know to be: I was loyal, committed and honest; I never lied, I never hid anything, and I definitely never did anything to hurt him on purpose. Instead of looking at what he did wrong, I look at what I did right. I won’t look at the scars and think of the pain, the aggervation or the loss; I’ll look at them and remember what I accomplished: I remained true to my word and true to my heart and I see areas I still need to work on. I have some good memories and those are the ones I will keep. The most beautiful thing a woman can ever wear, is confidence. Know who you are and wear it well. If you don’t like something, do what you must to change that but I’ll tell you know, true change must come from within. Not from someone else wanting it or someone else doing it. It’s all us, baby.
What doesn’t help you grow, holds you back. Cry if you need to cry. Be mad if you feel mad. Get the hurt out, then get over it and keep moving. You don’t have to forget, but you’ve got to let it go. Let the scars remind you of where you’ve and why you never want to repeat them. Scars are not a bad thing. Learn from it and leave the anger and tears behind. You’re worth it.
Much love 🙂