The Stumble in My Walk

I haven’t blogged regularly in forever so I figured two in one day couldn’t hurt (wink wink). This is my walk, after all. I’m supposed to share it with you: the good, the bad, the ugly. That’s the whole purpose of this blog. I’m not ashamed to share my downs with you and to show you the myriad of ways in which God lifts me up. I started to forget what a release it is to write…so here goes…

The bible is a great resource for learning as well as for healing. My friend from this morning reminded me that I need to open my bible. It made me question: Why haven’t I? I’ve been reading a verse here and there maybe even a small book on occasion, but that’s no walk…that’s a stroll. I know God will love me always. I know even if I feel ashamed, He will always have open arms for me. So…why? Maybe, I felt like God wasn’t working fast enough and I felt ashamed. I took my own road, rather, I tried to carve a road where He never intended there to be one. It just seemed right. Still does and I have no regrets. You should never reget something if you can take a lesson from it. And if you haven’t guessed, yeah, I’m single again. And no, that didn’t last long. Small blessing I assume.

Early this afternoon, I heard this on KLOVE radio, I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:9-10. I cried – which comes easy lately, but this really hit me. It was like he was talking directly to me, reminding me that He’s there. It’s crazy how someone can say something and you just feel that God is talking directly to you. This walk is so not easy and to expect never to stumble is ridiculous. Life can hurt, and it will. Nowhere in the bible does it say we are immune to it, but it does say He is there, if we listen, if we call on Him. So I opened my bible, said a little prayer asking God to guide me and feed me: onto Isaiah 41.

Some parts really lost me, but that’s the key about reading the bible: you can’t stop just because you don’t fully grasp something. You keep going until it hits you. This part hit me:

17The poor and needy search for water,
   but there is none;
   their tongues are parched with thirst.
But I the LORD will answer them;
   I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
18 I will make rivers flow on barren heights,
   and springs within the valleys.
I will turn the desert into pools of water,
   and the parched ground into springs.
19 I will put in the desert
   the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.
I will set junipers in the wasteland,
   the fir and the cypress together,
20 so that people may see and know,
   may consider and understand,
that the hand of the LORD has done this,
   that the Holy One of Israel has created it.”
~ Isaiah 41:17-20

Now I know this chapter probably has nothing to do with love, per say, but here’s how I interpret the above: poor and needy – that’s me: Hurting in my heart; needy for understanding; poor in spirit, in strength. Not lacking, but struggling. My tongue is parched – I so long for love. But God is telling me He will not forsake me – he won’t leave me. He can make rivers where the land was once dry, he can turn deserts into oceans and what was once parched – my thirst for love – can and will be quenched. He’ll plant trees so I can rest under the shelter of their shade – where it once was barren, it will thrive and I will know that it is all thanks to Almighty God who created it. Lest I give up, He will see me through. He will strengthen me. He will help me. I am not alone. My prayers, my needs, my hurt…will not go unheard or unnoticed.

When you are down, read your bible and don’t stop if you don’t understand something. Keep reading until something grabs you then research it on Google. Listen to Christian radio. I suggest KLOVE.com. And most importantly, never give up and never, ever let the devil convince you that you are alone. Someone out there knows exactly what you are going through.

Let me just add a footnote here. For all of you who comment here or on Facebook or send me private messages and leave me kind words of how I’ve helped you and/or words of encouragement, thank you. You are truly MY blessing because sometimes I forget what I’m doing this for. It’s for us. This is the true cycle of life: helping others who in turn help you, without even knowing it. Be forever lifted and blessed my friends.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

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One response to “The Stumble in My Walk

  1. Another heartfelt blog from you my friend – thank you for sharing and writing is so healing…..
    In gratitude,
    Nancy

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