Forgive and Forget

Went to a friends’ house this morning. I haven’t been sleeping…upset. He tells me about this car he had, a very nice one, but he always bought cheap, used tires for it. One day he decided to spend the extra money and buy brand new tires. He proudly went and had them put on, walking tall and proud as he left the counter, confident that he would not have to live with the fear of a flat or slow leaking tire or some other catastrophe like he had in the past. However, a few days later, as he was leaving for work one morning, he discovered the front right tire – yep – flat as a pancake. The mechanic said it was no problem. It was just a nail and he could fix it, but for my friend, it was never the same. Every time he would approach the car, he would inspect each tire in anticipation, expecting the worse.

The moral of this story? Some of us are like that…we invest into something expecting a specific outcome. We think if we spend enough money, pray the right prayer or believe enough, we will bypass problems. Yet when our expectations are not met, it breaks our trust. Sadly, some of us begin to anticipate problems while we are still at the counter paying for it and some of us don’t think twice until it actually happens, then we can’t let it go. Either way, we can’t let go of the fear. We forgive, but we don’t forget. And in not forgetting, we are never free.

What we often forget is, they have to go together. It’s not ‘forgive or forget’. If we don’t forget, we haven’t really forgiven. And if we just forget, the distrust remains intact, hidden under whatever vice we’ve come to use to escape the risks: drugs, alcohol, gambling, cleaning, hoarding, sex…isolation. Whether it’s your parents who were poor examples at showing you love or how to be loved or an ex who tore your heart out and made you feel unworthy of love…or maybe it’s yourself who seems to always sabotage what could be good because of something you just can’t let go of. Where there is risk, there is potential for growth. Even a brand new set of tires may have its’ setbacks, but at some point we have to just fix the tire and continue on.  

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matt 18:21-22


8 responses to “Forgive and Forget

  1. I have hurt some of my loved ones with my alcohol in the past- they won’t forget it, and I don’t believe they have forgiven me- even though they say that they have- they sure don’t act like it- and they constantly bring it up no matter what. I am TRULY sorry I have hurt them in the past. I understand, I REALLY do, but it brings me down sooooooo much to even be around them, and I truly am doing good- I know it takes time. But HOW much time? I know I am guilty of doing the same thing to others that have hurt me in the past- but I do NOT bring it up anymore, no MATTER what- I don’t even have the desire to remember all of that. I am forgiving and forgetting. It’s so frustrating. I try not to get depressed, but it is SO hard when you are surrounded by it. I pray that my Loved Ones can find the peace and joy in their Own hearts, and that they can forgive and forget and be happy! ( and YES let me be happy too!)<3

    • Keep looking forward Dawn. Read the rest of the bible verse I started in this. We are to forgive so that others forgive us. It will happen. Hang in there. 🙂

  2. Oh my girlfriend Angie, forgiving is so easy for me but the forgetting is so very hard my friend…it’s the memories we hold dear to us when we have been wronged in life….I totally understand what you are saying but the memory of the hurt comes back every now and then but the important thing is to feel the pain and then we can go through the pain and accept it for what it is….Love your posts my friend and have missed them!
    In gratitude to you,

  3. Angie, this is the street that I am living on right now. Always anticipating the worse and it is definitely hindering me. I forgive, but like Nancy said, it’s the forgetting that is hard. Thanks for sharing friend. Hope all is well!

  4. Angie,
    Forgiving and forgetting are so important to creating the life we desire. Life happens, but if we are always expecting the worse, that’s exactly what we’ll get. Great post about letting go of the past and moving into the future.

    Val 😉

    • Thank you Val. Thanks to all of you. It kills me to see people holding onto things that keep them back from better things. Make sense?? Maybe I’m wrong, but I sense that the home someone grew up starved them from the joys of loving and being loved. I know I can’t change anyone, but it makes my heart hurt.

  5. Thank You Thank You Thank You! This is a great post and the funny thing that I forget sometimes is that it doesn’t matter how I feel, I must do it to be in obedience. And sometimes, it is the only thing that gives me the strength to do it. God Bless You,

  6. hi i like your blog

    urs great
    take a look at mine too

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