I want to write…and I have a lot I want to write about, but I find reasons to not write. Not that subject, not that topic. Don’t tick anyone off. Don’t be so opinionated. It’s driving me nuts so I decided to just start writing and see where it goes.
A big thing that’s been on my mind is the integrity of marriage: the duties of the man as the husband and the woman as the wife. The biblical order of the home is: God, husband, wife, children. Period. God is first and foremost. The man serves as the head of the household leading them both physically and spiritually. The woman supports the home and her husband. The children obey their parents. Together they make a unit. This may sound outdated but I think it needs to be revived. This society needs to be reminded of the importance of family and the role each member holds. My parents were the epitome of this order and they were married almost 50 years before my mom passed away. 50 years. That’s a long time… I still, and will always believe in a love like theirs. I admire them. Someday I hope to have a relationship like that. One that doesn’t have an expiration date. One that doesn’t give up or get tossed away. A love that never fails. Never leaves. Never loses hope. A marriage that is based on God, faith, commitment, honesty and love. Was it all sunshine and rainbows? Heck no (a big heck no), but they endured. They persevered. They fulfilled their vows. Divorce was never an option.
I didn’t witness a lot of affection between my parents, but I did witness their commitment. In 2001 my mom had a severe stroke paralyzing her entire left side. They tried to rehabilitate her with shock treatments and therapy, but to no avail. Hearing the doctor’s suggest to my Dad to put her in a nursing home sunk my heart, yet my Dad’s resounding ‘No’ made my heart leap. He said she didn’t want to be in one and he would never put her there. I admired him…honoring my mother like that. For two solid years my Dad took care of my Mom’s every need. Now my mom was a short but rather large woman: she wasn’t easy getting in and out of the bed/wheel chair and sometimes she couldn’t do simple things on her own like use the restroom or bathe. But my Dad was right there. It was his job to take care of her and he took that job seriously. Witnessing his commitment to her – that was true love. That was marriage vows in action. Again, not all rainbows and butterflies but he was right there at her side. Sickness and health. Better or worse. Like it’s supposed to be.
What does commitment mean nowadays anyway?? Where did it go?? I’ve heard of people getting a divorce after 20+ years – how can you just throw that away!? What happened? I know the pain I feel after being married under two years…I can’t fathom the pain after 5, 10, 20 years. Step siblings shouldn’t be a norm. Blended families shouldn’t be a norm. Divorce should not be the norm. Personally, love is not something you fall in and out of. Aside from situations of true abuse, divorce should never be an option. It shouldn’t be the first line of defense, the quick ‘fix all’. Love is an action, not just an emotion. Vows are promises. Some of us can’t even commit to a two year cell phone contract or we switch cable providers based on whoever has the best deal going on. We lease cars, computers, refrigerators, furniture. We constantly upgrade. What happened to investing in something? What happen to quality? Quality of products, quality of life, quality of marriage? What we had last year is outdated, out of fashion. Things don’t last like they use to – not even marriage. Did we stop insisting on quality? Did we stop investing in our word? Did commitments become temporary?
We are a spoiled, ignorant, selfish generation. We make light of virtues that are sacred. We wonder why we hurt, why we have a trillion dollar industry that manufacturers pills for depression, for anxiety. We blame everyone and everything else – and we never stop to look in the mirror and take a good hard look at ourselves. We form a God that we accept. I’m seeing myself for who I am. Who I was…and I don’t like me. But I like who God is revealing that He wants me to be: a person of my word, a person of honor, a person of faith and endurance. I will heal and I will persevere.
We all need to remember the value of our words – we need to honor our commitments. We need to stop taking what we say so lightly, thinking we always have the option to opt out. We don’t – or at least we shouldn’t. Men, get your families into church. Women, get your house in order. Work together and remember why you spoke those vows to each other however many years ago. Don’t throw away what you once held so dear. Watch the power of your commitment and dedication to each other emulate through to your children…they will learn more than you will ever know…by what you show each other.
“But if any man does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” ~ 1 Timothy 5:8
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is he head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” ~ 1 Corinthians 11:3
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” ~ Ephesians 5:25
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” ~ Colossians 3:19
“Live with her in an understanding way, since she is a woman.” ~ 1 Peter 3:7