Something’s been on my heart real heavy the past week…you know how we always say everything happens for a reason? Well, I believe that, I really do. When I was with my spiritual advisor 2 Wednesday’s ago, she told me about a woman who God called into ministry. She said the woman asked God ‘why her?’, and He told her that the guy before her did not answer His call. So, that made me start to think…if he would’ve answered his calling, then he was following God’s plan. But he didn’t. That’s surely not what God wanted. How could that have happened for a reason? He missed out on something extremely special. So I struggled with two facts: everything happens for a reason and sometimes we miss our calling. They seem like polar opposites, contradicting each other. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that this guy who didn’t answer God’s calling happened for a reason. How many times have I went against God’s will and missed out on something special?? The way I see it, it’s like missing the last bus. Now what? Those times when we chose to go against our calling, that can’t be for a good reason. So, I struggled with this for a week. I started to assume that when we miss it, we miss it forever…yet…where does that leave us? Today in church I think God answered my request to help settle this unsettling about missing our calling and things happening for a reason.
I’ll provide a little more background. As I’ve said before, I have a special friend who I dated for about three months recently. We mutually decided that we needed to work on our relationships with God and forgo each other. It was obvious that we were a distraction to each other, preventing our spiritual growth. This hurt, but inside, I just knew it was right. I’m not healthy enough for a relationship. Relationships take work but I have to work on myself first so that I am able to fully participant in a healthy relationship. I don’t want a repeat of the love I’ve experienced before – or what I called love – again. They were so full of pain and regret. I need to work on me and the one person I know I can turn to in order to accomplish this is God. He is helping me learn more about myself. He is equipping me for a love I could never fathom. Not even in my dreams.
Anyway, we started talking again a couple weeks ago. Every day. Then, after about 5-6 days we recognized that it wasn’t time yet. It was like we were breaking up all over again, but this time as friends. It hurt so bad. I almost didn’t know how to deal with it…but I knew it was what we had to do. See…I feel him. Somehow, in my heart…in my soul…in my core, I just know that if I wait, I will experience something so great. That we could experience something wonderful. I can’t explain why, and I cannot articulate the exact words, but I feel it’s my spirit…telling me to wait…that it will be worth it. I know God has something so great in store for me and for the first time in my life, I am willing to be patient. I am willing to be single because I know I’m not alone. (For those who don’t know me, I’ve never been single for more than a month. A man qualifies me. Validates me. Determines my worth. In this walk I am learning to put my faith in God, not man.)
To connect these two thoughts, the debate over things happening for a reason verses missing our calling and my special friend, I’ve been asking myself things like, ‘what happens if we don’t work it out? What if we walk our walk and one of us falls and our paths never cross again?’ Does that mean my spiritual feeling that the love of my life will be gone forever?? I have no control over his walk, nor do I want it, but what if he takes a different turn in his walk? Enter one sentence my pastor said today, “No one can stop the plan of God.” This almost seemed out of place for the sermon he was preaching and I had a feeling that this one sentence was meant for me. It made my unsettling very clear. Everything happens for a reason because there is always a lesson to be learned from it. Each valley, each mountain gives way to God’s plan. And, when we miss our calling, we have another. He never gives up on us. We are tested repeatedly until He deems that we are ready. Some things happen because we missed our calling and He needs to redirect our paths. How does this go with my fear about my special friend? Well, I think he’s the one, and maybe God does too, but if he doesn’t follow God’s will…then…well, I think He will pick another who is suitable for me. I just have to stay on my walk. Submit my will to God. My special friend will always be my special friend. He will always hold a special place in my heart, but I can’t worry or even think about his walk. I can only concentrate on mine. I have to heed my calling so that I am the direct beneficiary of God’s will for me. He will supply. I pray for my friend. And I hope, for love “…always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7
“There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.” Proverbs 23:18
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;” Lamentations 3:25
“Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope,” Acts 2:26
“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:25
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12
“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:6-7