Surrender. Strong word. Many would probably consider it a sign of weakness, but with God, it’s not. This year will always be a milestone for me. The year I truly started evaluating who I really am. The year I learned how to surrender to God and following His will. Gotta stop climbing the clouds of my dreams and let Him take me to the mountains. By the way, it hurts like hell falling from them clouds, no matter how great the dream is. Dreams always end. I need to continue asking for forgiveness and asking Him to give me direction. To surrender my will for His. He has a plan for each of us. Plans for us prosper, never to harm. (Jeremiah 29:11) To make right what I’ve done wrong in the past, I have to confess my sins to him and not repeat them. I need to just keep going; when I can’t run, I’ll walk and when I can’t walk, I’ll crawl. I will surrender to Him and whatever He is doing.
And it’s so true, through the chaos, somehow, there’s peace. If it’s one thing I would love to share with each of you is the overwhelming lack of hopelessness I use to have. Even in the darkness, I feel His light. I am giving into something heavenly. What I want…just shouldn’t be right now. I’m not fighting it. I’m just letting it be. Forgive me for not elaborating…it’s between me and God. At least for now. Let’s just say, I want what I want, and I know, I just can’t live like that anymore, so…I have to let it go. I can’t fight for it. I just have to let it be what it is. I don’t know what the future holds and I honestly don’t know if what I feel is of God or not. It could just be the devil wanting to drag me back down. He doesn’t like me getting closer to God. But He’s working in me…and hopefully…others, too. He’s up to something bigger then me – more then I could ever expect or dream of. Praise God! And, it’s time for me to stop living in a dream. That’s what caused me problems in the past. And like I said earlier, falling from a cloud is very painful. It just is what it is…time.
I don’t get nearly as down as I use to, because I turn to music like this…listen to KLOVE sometime. Positive. Encouraging. Awesome, uplifting music. I know I’m going to be okay. So even if I cry, they aren’t all sad tears. I’m just…saying goodbye to the old me…
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11